TEACHING YOUNG PEOPLE TO AVOID VIOLENCE
Across the country, concerns are rising about youth violence. Seemingly every week, newspaper headlines and television news stories highlight tragedy after tragedy involving violence by -and usually against young- people. Every day, teenagers are killed in gun accidents and homicides. Teenagers are nearly three times more likely than adults to be victims of violent crime. Half of violent crimes against teenagers were committed by people known to the victim -either a casual acquaintance or close friend. No one wants to see young people either victimized by violence or hurting others.
What can we do?
First, start early. Talk with children during their youngest years about how to handle frustration, anger and arguments, and continue to do so through the teen years.
Stress respect for self and others, describe how you have settled arguments and other conflicts without violence, and teach children not to use words that hurt. These are valuable skills that can last a lifetime.
When you talk to children and teens about violence, make it clear that you do not approve of violence as a way to solve problems.
Explain the difference between feeling angry and acting out these feelings violently. Ask about the child’s ideas on violence.
Listen carefully and encourage him or her to talk about worries, questions, and fears. Try not to lecture. Instead, take advantage of "teachable moments." For example, when there’s a violent scene on TV, talk about what happened and how the people could have prevented it. When something violent and frightening happens at school or in the neighborhood, talk about what other choices besides violence might have been available.
Make sure other adults in the child’s life -grandparents, cousins, neighbors- know about and respect your teachings about violence. It confuses children when adults they trust send contradictory messages about the ways people should act.
Know who the child’s friends are and how they feel about violence. Always know where your children and their friends are.
Set a good example. Don’t let yourself resort to violence to settle conflicts or let off steam. Even in tense or very annoying situations, calm down, walk away, talk it out.
There are many ways young people can reduce their risk of being involved in violence.
Teach them to not let an argument grow into a fight -cool off, talk it out, even walk away if they have to.
Settle the problem with words, not fists or weapons. They should know to never carry a gun, knife or other weapon. It’s against the law and a sure way to turn a simple argument into a fight where someone gets badly hurt or killed.
Help them learn not to use alcohol or other drugs -the effects they have on people’s minds often encourage violence.
They should stay away from kids who think fighting and other forms of violence are "cool", and away from places where fights often break out.
They should tell a law enforcement officer or other trusted adult if they see a violent crime, and talk about it to you or another caring adult.
Finally, keep young people busy and involved in the community. Help develop recreational and educational programs for all young people in the community, and include them in projects to help the community. When young people have an important role in building up a community, they are far less likely to turn to violent actions that tear it down.
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE - WE MUST ALL TAKE A STAND!
One out of every four women in this country will suffer some kind of violence at the hands of her husband or boyfriend. Very few will tell anyone…not a friend, a relative, a neighbor, or the local law enforcement agency.
Victims of domestic violence come from all walks of life, all cultures, all income groups, all ages and all religions. They share feelings of helplessness, isolation, guilt, fear and shame. All hope it won't happen again, but it often does.
Are you abused?
Does the person you love "track" all of your time?
Constantly accuse you of being unfaithful?
Discourage your relationships with family and friends?
Prevent you from working or attending school?
Criticize you for little things?
Anger easily when drinking or using drugs?
Control all finances and force you to account in detail for all you spend?
Humiliate you in front of others?
Destroy personal property or sentimental items?
Threaten, hit, punch, slap, kick or bite you or the children?
Use or threaten to use a weapon against you?
Force you to have sex against your will?
IF YOU FIND YOURSELF SAYING "YES," THEN IT'S TIME TO GET HELP.
If you are abused, what can you do? There are no easy answers, but there are things you can do to protect yourself. Call the police or any help center for abuse in your country. Domestic assault is a crime. Officers and abuse counselors also have information about shelters, protective orders, and your rights as a victim of domestic violence. Leave, or have someone come and stay with you. If you believe that you or your children are in danger, leave immediately! Get needed medical attention from your doctor or a hospital emergency department. Ask the staff to photograph your injuries and keep detailed records in case you decide to take legal action. Contact Sessions Court, Civil Division, for information about a protective order.
Don't ignore the problem!
Talk with someone.
Part of the abuser's power comes from secrecy.
Victims are often ashamed to let anyone know about intimate family problems.
Go to a friend or neighbor or call a shelter or violence hotline to talk to a counselor.
Plan ahead and know what to do if you are attacked again.
If you decide to leave, choose a place to go and set aside some money.
Put important papers together…marriage license, birth certificates, checkbooks, etc., in a place where you can get to them quickly.
Learn to think independently.
Try to plan for the future and set goals for yourself.
If someone you care about is abused, take a stand! Reach out to victims of family violence.
Don't give up easily because change takes time.
Ending the victim's isolation is a critical first step.
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